Thomas Kinkade

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Everyone needs to stop referring to Thomas Kinkade as an artist. He wasn’t an artist. He was a craftsman. There’s a huge difference.

A master craftsman can pump out a highly refined work product that isn’t actual art in much the same way that Olive Garden can pump out a highly refined menu that isn’t actual Italian food.

Craftsmanship isn’t artistry. That’s Kincade’s legacy.

 

Lighting the Pipe

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Lighting the Pipe Illustration by Jean-Léon Gérôme – c.1895

Typical fuckin’ weekend. I’m over here just tryin’ to enjoy my high. Meanwhile, a bunch of noisy douchebags reserve a poolside cabana, chip in on the cheapest bottle of vodka, and spend the afternoon trying to convince drunk bitches to come back to their hotel room.

 

The Three Thoms

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In the center is the original version of Thom Yorke from a high resolution publicity shot I pulled off the internet. On the left is a composite version of Thom using just the left side of his face, (his right.) On the right is a composite version of Thom using just the right side of his face, (his left.)

Yeah, I’ve always wanted to do this, and my curiosity finally got the better of me.

 

My idea of subversive performance art would be to electrify a swimming pool and turn an entire Sandals Resort into a giant human bug zapper.

I’d call it “Fifty Thousand Volts of Irony.”