We live in interesting times.
We live in interesting times.
You Want It Darker
Back in 2009, Leonard Cohen played at Coachella. He was on my absolutely-do-not-miss list, and of course, most of my crew didn’t understand why.
Still, I insisted. I dragged them all kicking and screaming out of the Sahara tent and over to the outdoor stage. They asked me, “Who is this old man?” and I just smiled knowingly.
By the time he got around to “Hallelujah,” my friends were jaw-dropped. Some were in tears. (I certainly was.) We sang together and swayed together and when it was all over we held each other, grateful for the experience.
That’s how powerful it was seeing Leonard Cohen perform live. I’m still grateful.
It’s been an interesting few days. I’ve been traveling. Business and pleasure, often at the same time. I’m back now, and feeling particularly grateful for all the new people and all the new purpose in my life.
Despite all the gratitude, I couldn’t help but notice a strange new feeling when I finally got home and my head hit the pillow. I was all by myself, and I didn’t want to be. It wasn’t the feeling of loneliness. It was the feeling of not wanting to be alone, and that’s not the way I’m used to feeling when I crawl into bed.
Part of it was because I’d been on the road in the close company of others. Part of it was because almost everyone I know here is coupled up. Part of it was because I knew a certain person wouldn’t be sleeping alone that night. (Yes, they’re still seeing each other. Yes, it looks like it’s going to last. Yes, I’ve come to terms with it.)
Anyway, I didn’t want to be alone last night. That being said, I didn’t want to be with anyone else either. I could’ve found a big spoon, but I wasn’t in a little spoon mood. It wasn’t about having a warm body in my bed. It was about acknowledging this part of me that’s been slowly developing over this past year, the part that wants to start sharing my life with someone special, the part that everyone else around me always seemed to have, the part that made me feel like a little bit of an oddball for not having until now.
I have so many wonderful things going on in my life right now. I’m happy. Happier than I’ve been in years, and maybe that’s why I’m ready for this next thing. It’ll happen. Or it won’t. I know better than to expect it, but I’m also hopeful in a way that I’ve never been before too. We’ll see. In the meantime, I get to enjoy myself. I get to challenge myself. I get to do some actual good in my day-to-day life, and I get to do it surrounded by some of the loveliest human beings I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. Like I said, I’m grateful.
1. Kids — Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein
2. Lost It To Trying — Son Lux
3. Flame (Roosevelt Remix) — Sundara Karma
4. The Less I Know the Better — Tame Impala
5. Take My Pain Away — Moullinex
6. Heart It Races (Dr Dog Version) — Dr. Dog
7. Barbarians — Escort
8. Bloodshake — Peace
9. Fanta Fabuloso — Chucha Santamaria Y Usted
10. Wildfire — SBTRKT
11. Different — The Academic
12. Unbelievers — Vampire Weekend
13. Baker Street — Gerry Rafferty
14. Cocaine — Kiyo Cato
15. She’ll Kill You — Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein
Photo credit: Mayan Toledano
Flame (Roosevelt Remix)
The Less I Know the Better
Today’s laying by the pool music.
(It’s been a hairy bitch of a week. I deserve a sharp tan line and a daytime tequila buzz.)
1. Mess Is Mine — Vance Joy
2. Beautiful Girl (feat. Kyle Pearce) — Junge Junge
3. Meditate (feat. Two Fresh) — Probcause
4. Say My Name (feat. Zyra) [RAC Mix] — ODESZA
5. Closer (The Young Professionals Remix) — Tegan And Sara
6. San Francisco — The Mowgli’s
7. 2 Heads — ColemanHell
8. Feels Like We Only Go Backwards — Tame Impala
9. Pools — Glass Animals
10. Paper Aeroplane — Angus & Julia Stone
11. Ophelia — The Lumineers
12. First — Cold War Kids
13. I Wish I Was Sober — Frightened Rabbit
14. Helena Beat — Foster The People
15. Turn Me Up — Twin Shadow
16. Dangerous (feat. Joywave) — Big Data
17. Karma Police — Radiohead
18. Light of the Seven — Ramin Djawadi
1. Classic (feat. Powers) — The Knocks
2. Leave a Trace (Goldroom Remix) — CHVRCHES
3. Neon Dreams (feat. Exmag) —Probcause
4. Aloha (feat. Merryn Jeann) — Møme
5. No Rest For the Wicked (feat. A$AP Rocky) — Lykke Li
6. Old Love / New Love (feat. D’Angelo Lacy) — Twin Shadow
7. Be Apart — Porches
8. Call Your Girlfriend —Robyn
9. Made Of — Viola Martinsson
10. Golden Skans — Klaxons
11. Sweater Weather — The Neighbourhood
12. Diane Young — Vampire Weekend
13. Chimes — Hudson Mohawke
14. Clair De Lune (Live) — Flight Facilities with Owl Eyes
You’re right. This is a little bit magical.
After an extended period of international adventuring in lieu of the typical springtime music festival rituals, life is finally about to return to something roughly approximating normal.
I’m looking forward to sunshine. It will be my first summertime out of Los Angeles in as many years as my average reader has been alive. I’m looking forward to finding a new poolside scene, or whatever the equivalent is in whichever city I decide to find myself.
I have a few lunatics to keep me sane, and for now they’re who I’m calling friends. Well, that’s not fair. They are friends. Good friends, and I love them, but it’s all very ephemeral. That’s okay, though. At least I’m having a good time.
Also, bizarre coincidences are starting to happen. Now that I’ve wandered out into the fray, I’ve met several of you who have written in to me. It’s a very surreal experience to shake someone’s hand who thinks I am a stranger when the truth is that I know their deepest, darkest secrets.
It’s quite beautiful, really. It makes me feel immediately protective. As far as they can tell, I’m just being polite, but if that horrible person they wrote to me about were to suddenly walk into the room, I would eat that bastard alive with a little hot sauce and a side of fries.
There are people in my life now who are devoted fans of my work who have no idea that I’m the person they credit with their relationship choices and career paths. It freaks me out a little bit when I hear them tell me they grew up reading my advice.
Then I think about how long ago 2009 really was. When you click on All The Advice, you can pick from eight different years. Eight. And it’s true, the teenagers who started with me at the beginning are in their mid-twenties now. The twenty-somethings have become thirty-somethings. It well and truly blows my fucking mind.
Not too long ago, I discovered that a therapist who had been recommended to me by a mutual friend was actually a long-time reader who had chosen to become a therapist in part because of my influence. Needless to say, I chose not to set up an appointment. That would have been way too weird for both of us.
Still. I’m open to whatever extraordinary shit comes my way. 2016 has been a profound loop around the sun so far, and the lovely bow at the end of it will be the election of our first female President. I refuse to be cynical about that. I’m genuinely looking forward to it.
1. Let’s Go Crazy — Prince
2. Don’t Hurt Yourself (feat Jack White) — Beyoncé
3. Tearing Me Up — Bob Moses
4. Toes — Glass Animals
5. Genghis Khan — Miike Snow
6. Sparrow Hand — Strangers You Know
7. Hold Back the River — James Bay
8. Lemon Eyes — Meg Myers
9. I Just Might — Ryan Adams
10. Change My Mind — Stone Cold Fox
11. A Song for Our Grandfathers — Future Islands
12. Downtown — Majical Cloudz
13. The Night We Met — Lord Huron
14. Nothing Compares 2 U — Sinead O’Connor
15. Purple Rain — Prince