This isn’t decadent. This is stupid.
Never dump your whole stash on the mirror all at once. That’s how a coke-whore feeding frenzy becomes a trip to the emergency room before the pool closes.
And what’s with all the costume jewelry and that cell phone? Did somebody rob Vanilla Ice? Seriously, check the voicemail on that cracker-jack prize, I’ll bet there’s a threatening message from Suge Knight.
And what have I told you bitches about setting your drinks near the blow? Actually, get that fur out of there too. I once watched a porn star spill an eight ball all over her chihuahua. You haven’t partied until you’ve watched a gaggle of sex workers lick cocaine out of dog fur.
Hey, kids! Did you know cocaine is water soluble? Of course! That’s why everyone freaks out when a rookie coke whore sets her drink too close to the nose candy.
Well, did you also know that getting your blow wet isn’t always a bad thing? With only a few everyday household items, you can whip up your very own batch of cocaine aqueous solution for intranasal insufflation.
That’s right, it’s YaySpray®…! Your favorite hard drug in an easy to use nasal spray.
All you need is an empty nasal spray bottle (4 Way or Afrin bottles work best), a couple tablespoons of bottled water, a few drops of vodka, and a gram or so of your stash.
In a shallow cup or bowl, add about a tablespoon of water for each gram of blow you plan to use. Add the powder, and stir to dissolve (…yes, girls, just like Crystal Light.)
If your stuff is high-end, the mixture will be a bit cloudy and everything will dissolve. If your stuff is stepped on, you’ll notice the cuts will settle to the bottom… (yes, you get the added benefit of purer drugs!)
Add just few drops of vodka to stabilize and preserve the solution, but not too much or that shit’ll burn!
Suck the liquid up into the nasal spray bottle, and voilà! You’ve just whipped up a homemade batch of YaySpray®…!
Treat it just like regular nasal spray, and just like regular blow!
It’s easier on your nose, doesn’t leave any crumbs, and there’s no paraphernalia that might get you busted. It goes completely unnoticed in your purse, and you don’t have to find the nearest bathroom stall every time you want some candy!