Buckets For The Cure

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I keep seeing these new KFC ads featuring pink buckets of chicken that ostensibly involve charitable donations to fight breast cancer via a campaign they call Buckets For The Cure.

Does anyone else find this a bit ridiculous?

This is like my coke dealer selling little blue baggies to support a charitable campaign for the Police Benevolent Association.

Until every single one of their original red buckets of chicken also include a charitable donation to fight cardiovascular disease and childhood obesity, how about we all just skip this corrupt middle man and donate directly to breast cancer charities okay?

 

Real Men Marry Women

 

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That’s it. Use reverse psychology, sweetie. You’ll have a gay man buying a ring for you in no time.

Bitches like this are what I call corn-syrup evil. They are a sickeningly sweet byproduct of a broken American heartland, inherently unhealthy, and almost impossible to avoid.

Honestly, this is why I don’t like talking politics. Why would I want to spend my time arguing with physically unattractive intellectual inferiors?

I mean look at her. Poor thing has to go through her entire life with that head, much less with what’s in it.

Cocaine Torches

Police have distributed ten “cocaine torches” to neighborhood policing teams and drug squads in the west of the county. Shone on noses and mouths, they show minute traces of cocaine which might be invisible to the naked eye. Anyone suspected of using the drug will be searched by officers and prosecuted if necessary.

BBC NEWS (via poortaste)

Oh, great. The cops in Britain finally saw that episode of CSI from, like, ten years ago. You know what else shows up under UV light? Semen. How about we shine that little narc lamp on your Freddie Mercury mustache, officer? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

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