Real Men Marry Women

 

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That’s it. Use reverse psychology, sweetie. You’ll have a gay man buying a ring for you in no time.

Bitches like this are what I call corn-syrup evil. They are a sickeningly sweet byproduct of a broken American heartland, inherently unhealthy, and almost impossible to avoid.

Honestly, this is why I don’t like talking politics. Why would I want to spend my time arguing with physically unattractive intellectual inferiors?

I mean look at her. Poor thing has to go through her entire life with that head, much less with what’s in it.

Cocaine Torches

Police have distributed ten “cocaine torches” to neighborhood policing teams and drug squads in the west of the county. Shone on noses and mouths, they show minute traces of cocaine which might be invisible to the naked eye. Anyone suspected of using the drug will be searched by officers and prosecuted if necessary.

BBC NEWS (via poortaste)

Oh, great. The cops in Britain finally saw that episode of CSI from, like, ten years ago. You know what else shows up under UV light? Semen. How about we shine that little narc lamp on your Freddie Mercury mustache, officer? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

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