If you are amongst the people who, while in the audience of a live music event, insist on holding up your camera phone to record extended amounts of video, please know that you are horrible.

It’s true. You’re all a bunch of thoughtless cunts incapable of living in the present moment, spoiling the view for the fans behind you with giant glowing rectangles of narcissism.

Speaking on behalf of everyone else at the show, I fucking hate you. Really. You’re awful, and I hope that all of your mobile devices short circuit in the front pockets of those skinny jeans and melt into your hairy genitalia.

Still, as much as I hate you, you are officially no longer the worst people in the room. No, that title belongs to a new breed of gum-smacking, teenage centers-of-the-universe who, instead of holding up their camera phones to record extended portions of the live show, are now holding up their camera phones to record THEMSELVES as audience members watching extended portions of the live show.

My jaw still hits the floor every time I see it. Honestly, that level of complete and total self-absorption is something I wouldn’t have even thought was possible a few years ago. It boggles the fucking mind.