Everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life, and a secret life.
Updating your resume reflects your public life. The stories you tell about your co-workers over dinner reflect your private life, and the fact that you’re fucking your boss or embezzling money from the company reflects your secret life.
Certain professions get more face time with folks in their secret life. If you’re a lawyer, priest, or prostitute you probably already know what I’m talking about.
I much prefer the secret life, and for whatever reason, people are very comfortable letting me be a part of theirs. Ask anyone who’s watched a sunrise with me, and they’ll admit that I’m pretty much a lawyer, priest, and prostitute all rolled into one.
The secret life is a much more raw and visceral way to experience the human condition. Loyalties run deeper. Friendships are more intimate. People are more honest, even when they’re lying.
The flip side is that betrayals are dangerous. They aren’t just mildly embarrassing. They cause legitimate harm.
In fact, the whole notion of honor among thieves is really just a way of describing the higher standard of integrity required of those who operate in the realm of the secret life.
It’s because of this higher standard that I choose to remain anonymous.
Social media is doing a hell of a job blurring the lines between public and private, but we can all agree that blogging is inherently public.
Personal blogs — when they’re at their very best — share moments that are intensely private, but unless they are anonymous, they can never delve into the secret without causing harm.
I want to cram as much brutal truth into my writing as possible, and I can only do that when I’m free to share experiences from my secret life. Names are omitted to protect the guilty, including mine.
For those of you who’ve been asking, this is why I won’t reveal who I am.