They Move On Tracks of Never-Ending Light
This Will Destroy You
Maybe it’s the cold weather. Maybe it’s my recent move. Maybe it’s just time, but I think I’m in a place where I want to fall in love. Hard. For real. Mutual and deep.
I want to feel a closeness with another person, a perfectly comfortable yet irresistible attraction. I want it to be more than sexual. I want it to be more than spiritual. I want it to be elemental, as if billions of years ago, all of the atoms in our bodies were somehow forged from the exact same star.
I know that’s probably asking for a lot, especially from an ever-expanding, infinitely indifferent universe, but it shouldn’t be too much to hope for. Or maybe it is. Either way, it doesn’t hurt to acknowledge such a simple and profound desire for the only thing that makes the human condition worth anything at all.
No more parties in LA. How fucking perfect… (I actually feel this one, Kanye. Deeply.)
Aren’t we all…
1. I Need My Girl — The National
2. Lover — In The Valley Below
3. Circadian Rhythm (Last Dance) — Silversun Pickups
4. Joe (Live) — Alabama Shakes
5. Wildest Dreams (Stripped Down and Live) — Taylor Swift
6. How Hard I Try (feat. James Hersey) — filious
7. REALiTi — Grimes
8. Touch — MOTHXR
9. Dead Sound — The Ravonettes
10. iT — Christine And The Queens
11. Razor Love — Neil Young
12. Night — Bill Callahan
13. Ada Plays — Gabriel Yared
This past year, I fell in love with another city, which for the moment shall remain nameless. I spent some time there visiting friends over the summer, and on a whim, I found an adorable little apartment and put down a deposit.
When I got back to Los Angeles, I packed up my shit, tied up my loose ends, kissed everyone goodbye, and hit the fucking road.
It wasn’t difficult. I thought I might be emotional as I drove away, but I wasn’t. Not a bit. Los Angeles isn’t a sentimental town, and the wild and shimmering version that belonged to me, it ended years ago. I’ve had plenty of time to let go. I still love Los Angeles, but I’m over it. This was the perfect time to leave.
I’m still getting used to my new surroundings. This place that I’ve found is beautiful and mysterious and deeply satisfying. I’m happy here, but this city doesn’t belong to me yet. It probably never will. For now I’m the one who belongs to it, and I’m content to yield to all the raw and uncertain adventure.
Every year. Even though I’ve been kicked off Tumblr, I will still post this every year.
1. Flesh without Blood — Grimes
2. Lime Habit — POLIÇA
3. Nightlight — Silversun Pickups
4. Killer in the Streets — The Raveonettes
5. Campo — Toro Y Moi
6. Pretty Pimpin — Kurt Vile
7. Last of a Kind — Neighbors
8. Easy — MOTHXR
9. Breathe Life — Jack Garratt
10. Twigs And Stones — Siskiyou
11. Can’t Help Falling in Love — Haley Reinhart
12. Waiting (PAL Remix) — Alice Boman